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Recovery 2007 Style

Can anyone help me?
I’m trying to recover from this recovery programme I’m on.
I keep telling them I’m in crisis, but they say,
No, you’re recovering.
Besides, they say, the Crisis Centre is full,
You’ll have to wait your turn to be in crisis,
But there’s plenty of spare seats on the recovery programme.

If I want to be in crisis, I’m jolly well gonna be in crisis.
I learnt to say that in Assertiveness classes,
Courtesy of the NHS.
I’ll just have to be in crisis on my sweet ownsome.
I managed okay when I was Christ in the wilderness,
Before they got their hooks into me.

Have you noticed,
They go on about Empowerment and getting your anger out,
But they really don’t like it when you’re empowered with them,
Or let your anger out at them.
I’ve decided that the best policy is passive manipulation.
I learnt that in therapy,
Courtesy of the NHS.
It works every time, if you’re clever and subtle enough.
Its a win-win situation.
Two wins to me, ‘ollocks to them.

I’m gonna take this issue to the European Court,
It’s a fundamental God given human right
for any person to be in crisis
Whenever they want to be.
That’ll learn ‘em.

John Exell