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WHO COULD BLAME HIM
A short story by John Exell
"I see you suffer from
Schizophrenia", said the Social Security doctor across the
desk, reading the letter from Tom's doctor. "You seem quite
well at the moment, but we can't risk sending you back to work,
not with the pressure of modern jobs. Maybe part-time gardening
or something like that, definitely not your old career, far too
much pressure. But I see you enjoy writing. Keep that up, that is
good therapy. "Well", he finished, "I think we'll
keep you on the sick until further notice, which probably means
for the rest of your life. You're allowed to work ten hours a
week and earn £60 therapeutic earnings before deductions".
Tom left the surgery smiling. Living with his mother, his wants
were very small. He didn't drink, he received a small pension
from his old job, because of his illness he had a free bus pass,
free classes and now invalidity benefit, probably for the rest of
his life. His one luxury was smoking. "It gives me that
edge," he said. Gone were that meaningless hunt for that non-existent
job, the lies he had to tell about his illness and past
hospitalisation at interviews and the like. Now he could devote
all his time to what he really wanted to do, writing.
He sat on his bed that night repeating the magic words
Schizophrenia and therapy to himself. He really didn't have to
lie any more. After all, all writers were a bit mad, the ones he
liked in any case, the good ones. His illness was par for the
course, it gave him street cred, it also gave him material to
write about. "Schizophrenia, therapy" he repeated to
himself. He even tried "Theraphenia, Schizapy". The
first sounded like one of the drugs he was on, the other sounded
like a child's sweet. What was the difference he wondered to
himself. He repeated the words over and over to himself like a
meditation mantra, and soon fell asleep.
The feel good factor came early to Tom. He had had some limited
success with his writing, earning twenty or thirty pounds here
and there, but he was happy. He was doing exactly what he wanted
to do. He didn't want for anything. People used to ask him why
not look for work again. He smiled, mentioned his Schizophrenia,
jokingly said that he wasn't a well man, said that work was in
short supply and should be for those who want it or need it.
Every now and again, the press was full of a story about a
Schizophrenic who had committed mass murder, or something equally
as hideous. They only made Tom feel more secure.
Then it finally happened. The big day. He won £5,000 in a
prestigious short story competition. Of course he had to inform
the Social Security. A week later he received a letter from them,
asking him to go their offices. At the appointed time, Tom sat
opposite the official. "I see from your letter that you've
won £5,000. Of course we'll have to make some deductions".
Tom nodded in approval. "Can you tell me when you wrote the
story?", continued the civil servant. Tom scratched his head.
"I don't keep a record of my writing," he said, "but
I think I wrote it in the middle of last August". "Can
you be more precise" replied the official, "and how
long did it take you". "About a week, exactly a week,"
smiled Tom, wanting to get out of there, "seven days
exactly, week starting..." he consulted the calendar, "15th
August". "Thank you" said the official, and wrote
it down. "Now how many hours did it take, we can only let
you work ten hours a week". Tom was stumped. "I have no
idea how long it took. When I get a good idea, I get in front of
my computer and just go manic. It was a lot more than ten hours
I'm afraid". The civil servant peered at Tom over her
glasses. "If you're well enough to work more than ten hours
a week, you're well enough to work". Tom didn't like the way
the conversation was going. It was time to pull out his secret
weapon and repeat the magic words; "But I'm Schizophrenic,
and writing is my therapy. I don't know what I would do if I
couldn't write".
The words had the desired effect. The civil servant, like all
civil servants, liked to put everything, labelled, into boxes.
Tom fitted every box and none of them all at the same time. Her
left hand went up to her right ear, while her other hand went up
to her nose, then her arms fully crossed and clutched her
opposite shoulders. In this position she gently rocked to and fro.
As Tom gazed at her, he swore she literally shrunk before his
eyes. He wondered who the mad one was, but decided to keep quiet.
Then his pity got the better of him. "I could refer the
matter to my doctor, get him to write you a letter", he
ventured. The civil servant breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed
once again. "Yes, that's a good idea" she said, glad to
be let off the hook.
And that's what happened. Tom got his doctor to write to the
Social Security, of course mentioning several times the magic
words therapy and Schizophrenia and Tom soon received a reply.
They would stop him a week's money and that he should inform them
if his circumstances change. Underneath the neatly typed letter
were the words, "Good luck with the writing", written
in pencil. "They're human after all," he said.
After that Tom never looked back. The prestigious competition win
brought Tom fame and later his fortune. He was soon able to say
goodbye to the Social Security for ever. Soon his first novel was
published, based on, of course, his escapades with the Social
Security, and he went from strength to strength. He died a very
happy and fulfilled man. "But completely mad", added
his doctors. "A highly talented eccentric genius", said
his friends. But he who knew him best said, "Yes, all of
those, but also an intelligent cunning opportunist, but who could
blame him, who could really blame him".