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SATIRE ON A PSYCHIATRIST

by Amy Ford

Professor Engelbert Shrinkkopf writes.................

"The OLD way is the only way, to deal with such social freaks
as the severely mentally ill - and now we’ll have it back".
"May the neo-antiquity live on and on.........."


"But we always knew this anyway.
From somewhere deep inside our hearts
But support was all we could present
Because we’d dare not say
What we really meant............

But now we can all relax again,
And dictate what our patients should think and do,
And law abiding as we are
We will comply and so should you!

And - it’s now all OK !

Not only from what our journals tell us,
But because the government does a spin
And shouts aloud to all who’ll listen:

"Public will be safe at last
Mentally ill have now been cast
As dangerous people who pose a threat
So we will ensure "their" needs are met"

Well, we all thought we’d have a go
At joining in as "politically correct"
But now we’ve seen what’s been the effect:
Patients of mine damning my work
Speaking on platforms and enjoying the perk,
Making out that I’m some kind of joke
When in fact it’s ME
Who’s part of "ordinary" folk.

So many of them just sit around,
Can do no work - so "laziness" abounds.
They meet each other in the town
At where the Post Office is also found.
They’ll smoke fags until they die,
And then they pose the question why?
They’re manic at night and asleep in the day.
It is just NOT NORMAL
To behave in that way!

Of course for them
It maybe a cruel twist of fate
That their freedom
Is now handed back
On a plate.

But for me
I do in fact REJOICE!
As the new Mental Health Act
Is now my choice.

And, as I will no longer have to listen
Now my job will be so less hard
If any idea is not my wish
I’ll just declare it barred.

For as the government is so keen to say
This new law is here to stay!"

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