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John Exell analyses the experience of Hearing Voices
I suffer from schizophrenia. I
hear voices and see things. Sometimes I imagine I'm talking to a
friend telepathically. The other night I was doing this when I
realised that I was creating the friend's telepathic voice - that
her voice was really in my mind and my mind was creating it, just
as it was creating my own telepathic voice. I talked it over with
another good friend, who is not a voice hearer, who said he did
something similar. He would have conversations in his head - what
he would say to a friend and what he imagined they would reply -
and so on.
This led me to realise that all my voices are in my head, my own
mind's creation. When I feel good I have good voices. When I feel
bad I get nasty voices. The voices are only what I imagine some
other would say. When I have done wrong, I get accusing voices -
what I imagine these others, upright citizens or even God, would
say. Often my voices are just the result of wishful thinking.
I hear the thoughts or voices, but the part of my mind that
thinks "this is what I guess they would say" is missing
from my consciousness. It is part of my unconscious. I have a
blockage with this part, but I am working on it.
I take a small maintenance dose of anti-psychotic medication, and
I see a nutritionist. I have already given up alcohol and street
drugs, and am now attempting to give up all stimulants, eg
caffeine and nicotine. These stimulate my mind and can produce
voices.