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Flying saucer answer’s. Starting ‘Simon the Searcher’.
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By Robart


Simon had always been interested in flying saucers like Stephen Spielberg. As a child he would look outside his bedroom window and wish a flying saucer would take him away. A super civilization that had robots to do all the washing, cooking, cleaning and ironing. Somewhere where nothing bad happened no Second World War or Adolf Hitler or Nazi’s, a colourful planet like a Walt Disney film. He believed the star of Bethlehem to be a flying saucer that beamed it’s energy down to the baby Jesus. Simon, the Searcher was good at school. He left with a string of examination passes and for a time, he was in the local psychiatric unit, where he was diagnosed ‘schizophrenic’. He did not agree saying it was too many strong lager’s. To which the psychiatric social workers sympathized. He didn’t like psychology, thought Sigmund Freud had a lot to answer for. Simon , he thought to himself, was not an Oedipus Rex, that wanted to kill his father and marry his mother. Simon had always been interested in flying saucers. He had worked at the scientology office in London and thinking about the flying saucers sightings in East Grinstead near Crawley, where the scientologists were. And the flying saucer sighting at Stonehenge. He wondered if there was a connection. Getting his ordinance and survey map out, he drew a line from East Grinstead to Stonehenge, there was something there, he concluded. Getting his drawing compass out, with the pencil on the end he drew two circles from East Grinstead and Stonehenge there was a connection. The circular points met on Exmoor tra-la he thought.

Hitch-hiking down the motorway to Crawley during the night he got, a lift at five in the morning from East Grinstead to the Scientology Castle at Saints Hill, by a man on his way to work. As they were driving along the man said “I can’t see any of my friends this morning” Simon thought, he meant flying saucers it turned out the man meant birds. At the scientology castle, Simon fell asleep for a while next to the coffee machine, when he woke up they showed him round the castle Simon used the famous e-meter called a lie detector by anti-scientologists. Spending the night in the castle, Simon slept in his sleeping bag on one of the carpeted office floors. After he set out for Stonehenge, he got there late at night just before the pub closed. As he had his pint, he noticed the bar lady looking at him strangely. Perhaps she knew he was going to sleep at Stonehenge as he had his sleeping bag with him. Climbing over the fence into the Stonehenge grounds, he wondered around the standing stones of Stonehenge, the moon was full casting thick deep black shadows from the stones. He put his sleeping bag next to one of the stones got in it and lay there looking at the stones. Then he saw a light it got bigger, nearer coming towards him. Terrified he got up, shouting ‘what’s that?’ ‘who’s that’? ‘What’s that’? It turned out to be the night watch man with a torch. The night watchman told Simon to get out the same way he got in. hitch hiking to Exmoor, Simon the searcher put his sleeping bag on the grass. He lay there and lit a cigarette. Then quite suddenly, he saw a red light and yellow octagonal colour shapes before everything went blank!

He woke up in the morning looked around his sleeping bag was far off. The sleeping bag was tattered and torn, he looked at himself his clothes were torn and he had marks on his skin. He looked at his calendar watch. He was a day out. He had been abducted there was a blue parchment in his hand with writing on it, he read: “we thought we were great, we conquered the universe, but every planet, an ornamental rock. And we in a goldfish bowl.” Flying saucer answers.