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MY EXPERIENCE
OF SCHIZOPHRENIA - AND RECOVERY
When I tell people of
my own personal experience of schizophrenia - and my recovery
from it - I am often told, "You should write a book".
Well, I don't know if I can quite manage that - but, perhaps, an
article, so here goes!
I first began to show signs of 'schizophrenia' in 1966, at the
age of nineteen - yes, I am that old! I was admitted to my local
psychiatric hospital - a large Victorian ex-workhouse with over
one thousand patients. Believe it or not, I was to stay here for
the next five years! In those days, once labelled you were banged-up
for life. I had twenty-nine ECT's - I can remember each one of
them, particularly those which were given without anaesthetic -
and far too much insulin - administered both as 'insulin-shock'
and as 'modified' insulin. Suffice it to say that, after about
three or four years, I was a complete "zombie" and I
finally lapsed into a catatonic state.
Strangely enough, on recovering from this phase of the illness, I
looked around me, thought "Not for me", and did a
"runner". I don't know quite what happened, but I
realised that I had sunk as low as I could go, and something just
told me that I had to get out of the system. If I didn't, I would
be institutionalised for life.
Subsequently, I 'escaped' from a locked second-floor ward, caught
a bus into town, told a pack of lies to the Social Security
Department, and found myself a bedsit. Things could then only get
better - which they did!
I married the following year (in some haste, I must admit) in
order to gain a more secure lifestyle. Sadly, the marriage did
not last, but it produced three lovely children - and my 'ex' and
I stay friends to this day.
I have slowly rebuilt my life - there is no magic formula. When
the going gets tough, I am reminded that it is a million times
better than the life I would have had as a drugged-up
institutionalised "zombie"!
I weaned myself off drugs when the children were small - I could
not have taken proper care of them otherwise - and have been
fortunate enough to stay stable (relatively!) since. I haven't,
at least, needed formal psychiatric care of any sort. Nowadays I
have a 'support system' of family and friends - and am also
personally helped by religious belief.
Yes, there can be life after schizophrenia: in my own case,
nearly thirty years of a very satisfying and rewarding (though
not always easy) existence.